it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm sobbing to NWA
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
