after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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