GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
