I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
