STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
