Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize