Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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