literally had 100 drinks last night.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
