Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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