Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Found your dick twin last night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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