Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
