ugly people sure do ruin things
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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