video games are the ultimate cock blocker
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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