im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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