Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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