i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize