I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
