Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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