Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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