Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
