All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
