Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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