Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
