I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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