my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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