Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
