thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
