I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
