Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
