what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
