I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
