need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
