my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sorry about my life...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
