I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I FOUND THE LEGS
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
