i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
