That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize