rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize