I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
