are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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