We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
