So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
