You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
