I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
God I need to hump something, right now.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize