He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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