I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
