pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
