This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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