Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is my gift to your gina
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
