hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
