Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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