It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
