ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize