He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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