If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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