u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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