Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
bring money and cleavage
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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