in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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