I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
