My sheets look like a crime scene.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
