I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
