Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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