went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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