dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize