Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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