why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
