i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
