Umm I'm too high to move.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
