She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
