There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
the liver wants what the liver wants
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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