Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
