No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
