So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
