Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
