I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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