I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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