Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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