Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize